I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
