haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Are we still banned from the library?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize