oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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