so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
