her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You made out with two different species that night
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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