Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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