I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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