mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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