I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
there is puke in my bra ... again
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
