if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's blow job season.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
