he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize