He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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