I want to walk on stilts...naked
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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