are you still at the devil's house?
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
