is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Randomize
