nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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