He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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