The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
