What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
