guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
