we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
