The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
