What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I FOUND THE LEGS
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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