We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize