put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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