Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
