I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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