I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
