I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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