Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
