umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
