Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I think a kid would responsible me up
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
