I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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