We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
