JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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