whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
