Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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