i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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