if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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