mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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