just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
