please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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