I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
