He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Rumble strips road head = magical
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
