well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Drake has all the answers
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
