What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
