I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
