the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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