Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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