You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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