your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
