he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
