Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
