So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
