I heard we made out
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
