I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
