I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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