Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
