I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
