...so i touched it.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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