I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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