How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
