There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
