Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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